Our first meeting was on January 23rd, 2013 in Paris.
Our first contact? Let me tell you ...
Like millions of people, I am on this social network that cannot be missed on the web.
I use it to let people know about my business, keep in touch with my family, my clients, my friends, and those who want to be part of my contacts.
The image I chose to give me is partly sincere.
My "angel" side is fully expressed. I post pictures of art, nature, some quotes...
I reply, share with a very small group of people, despite
hundreds of "friends".
The links are created based on common interests.
From October 2012, Loïc joined this group of "free thinkers."
We had a few discussions about social issues , nothing more.
So I visited his personal page on which there were only very few photos .
I started reading his writings on various subjects .
Its particular way of speaking quickly challenged me .
I continued to read the writings of Loïc until the date of his contact request.
I quickly understood that, among this flood of words I needed to skim through his writing, pick up only the main points without worrying about the details.
I had no merit in understanding all this as I have myself, worked that way at times of my life.
Although his anger was expressed differently, it was the same as mine.
A rejection of modern society , of hypocrisy , of pretense , of pretentious people whose only goal is their personal success.
Despite my natural empathy I read Loïc with my personal codes , without pity or compassion ... just taking in the few sentences that were important .
I was leaving a brief comment .
Over time, I learned that if you want to be understood, it is best to be direct, to choose your words.
I love people , sincere conversations , those coming from the heart .
It is so rare to be able to communicate without placing "politically correct" barriers.
The way Loïc had to express himself made me smile.
I felt that I was meeting myself 15 years ago.
I expressed my anger in the same way.
It was clear that Loïc used Facebook as an outlet.
No matter whether people read it or not, he had to write.
Once a paragraph finished, he moved on.
On the morning of December 10th, I received a friend request from Loïc, which I accepted.
So I started following his updates "live".
I was always commenting in the same way.
A few words about the main cast.
I read everything and was only holding a few sentences.
Some had a real resonance to me.
Of course, we are not born with this language, this vision of things, of life.
The journey, and what we learnt from each stage, makes what we become.
On January 18th, everything changed.
My mother, with whom I had a very tense relationship, phoned me.
The conversation, or rather the monologue, quickly took the tone of anger.
She started pouring her reproaches, as always.
Up to a point, I listened silently, waiting for her to calm down.
As long as her complaints were only about me, I didn't take much notice.
I was used to it.
That day, she started saying horrible things about my children.
I raised my voice and told her clearly that I couldn't stand her any more, and I hung up.
I decided that from that moment I would show everyone exactly who I am.
On my FB page, I changed my cover picture and put a panther with all fangs out, and...
I chose as a profile picture a drawing of a woman half angel, half - demon.
I did not think it would have such a strong impact on my contacts .
In the next five minutes , I started receiving some private messages.
Some were worried , others were attracted by the demon side.
Comments arrived very quickly.
Loïc: " Angel and demon ... Like everyone else , both are depending on the situation. As the saying goes : be wise but not too much in certain situations. "
Me: " Yes ..."
Laurence : "A bit of both for a good balance. "
Me: " Uh ... why not a lot of both ? This is a good balance if you know its limitations. "
Laurence : " You're right, but there are many who have a lot of one side and very little of the other. "
Loïc: "I endorse and I agree Christine . "
Me: " That does not surprise me. "
Loïc contacted me by private message .
We discussed this photo angel and devil, and the way we see people and life.
Everything came together very quickly.
An hour-long discussion at an hectic pace .
The next day we resumed our conversation.
Words, phrases rolled on .
Similarly writing styles, the same code of life , the same language.
Pages of conversation flowed . Sometimes the sentences were the same.
Sometimes I couldn't tell who had written .
I was forced to rely on the colours of the speech bubbles to find out.
Loïc was in the same situation, he did not know who had said what.
We were really surprised at what happened.
We never talked about our lives.
All I knew was what he had posted on his page, and that he was much younger than me.
He knew nothing about me.
We did not stop writing.
January 19 evening, I needed to hear his voice, to talk to him.
I took the plunge. I called.
Hearing our voices was a shock.
The same words, the same laughter, and this mad desire of not hanging up.
For two days and two nights we alternated messages and phone.
We talked about everything and nothing.
We fell asleep writing and as soon as we woke up, we were in touch with each other again.
I do not know when we discussed the question of our age.
That difference bothered me. I had difficulty integrating this parameter.
We were in direct conversation on FB.
He asked me if this posed a problem for me.
The immediate answer was yes.
We continued to discuss ... Two hours later age didn't matter any more.
On January 21st, I went to buy a touchscreen phone to talk via
" VIBER " (which allows free calls anywhere in the world).
From that moment , we did not leave the mobile.
That same evening, we fell asleep , exhausted, talking .
This Magic feeling of being next to each other.
On January 22nd in the morning, Loïc was already awake and had called several times.
When I called back , he asked me to meet him in Paris .
I knew he would ask me.
It was obvious that we had to see each other .
We fell in love with each other while talking.
That " copy and paste " was so incredible .
I took a one way ticket for January 23 in the morning.
This last night before I left, we felt the same thing.
A total symbiosis.
Sleep came almost before I knew it , the phone at the ear , our voices were no more than whispers .
A definite privacy 360 km away from each other ... Magic ...
On that morning spent in the train, Loïc was already at the station for our date, we did discover sensations ever experienced .
Our body shaking with tremors, sweating while snow and frost covered the scenery, breathless and unable to control ourselves.
It was not anxiety or fear as Loïc and I do not know these feelings any more.
An overflow of emotions ?
All the emotions that we had been forced to absorb to protect ourselves emerged .
What is certain is that for once we had placed no barrier to protect us.
We had opened all the doors without restraint.
We, who have a highly developed survival instinct, put ourselves at risk to meet up, to know who this other was.
On the platform, as he put his hand on my shoulder, I turned slowly.
Had one of us not recognised the other, I would have gone back on the train immediately .
We both knew . It was certain.
A few seconds spent staring into his eyes, a smile at the same time on both our faces.
Yes, we recognized each other ... Without having seen each other ever.
We got out of the Gare du Nord , hand in hand , without speaking, appeased.
Before returning to the apartment, we went along the Champs- Élysées in the car, without looking at anything .
We were in our bubble.
The world around us did not matter .
We were together.
This word with our codes, we fully grasp the privilege it is.
This intellectual loneliness, our constant companion , was over.
We finally laid down the arms .
What a well-being!
One was not born with these special codes, this language, this vision of things and people, these rules of life, the ability for quick analysis, the respect of values, the disgust of society, the betrayal.
Everything we had lived previously made complete sense .
We have no merit.
We did not have a choice.
We had to face to survive.
That's what we did.
We are not brave, strong, we've had to face reality to be able to live, just live, and reject fatality.
We talked about our lives on the first night .
We said everything as if to permanently close our stories.
(Extract from Manuscript filed with the SACD "After silence" in March 2013)
Very good Sunday to all.
Thank you for your messages on our FB page and our blog.
Our first meeting was on January 23rd, 2013 in Paris.